All my loving I will send to you
by Roma Blackadder
Summary: Faberry fluff. Quinn sits down and writes a letter that will change her and rachel's friendship forever.


**All my loving I will send to you**

Quinn looked at the blank piece of paper. She'd always been told she was a clever girl but this one time was where words after effortless words just didn't come. Why? She'd written a letter before, in fact, she had written many on numerous occasions! What made this letter so different?

Quinn knew why. Her sorbet emotions had become chocolate ice cream explosions after meeting one person. Vanilla thoughts had become tropical. Ice became frozen strawberries. Her life was full of flavour now and it was down to one person, who would never know, unless Quinn could write this letter.

She caught herself humming "All my loving", never had a Beatles song been more appropriate except they weren't an item… yet. There was always hope though. Q sighed, put pen to paper and began to write.

Quinn put the pen down and didn't read the letter again, too embarrassed by her own feelings, before slipping it in to the envelope and sealing it. She carefully write "Berry" on the front of the envelope and she drew a little star underneath, Rachel always had a butter golden sticker but Q wasn't that prepared, so a drawing would have to do.

OoOoOoOoO

Rachel heard the letterbox in her front door open and shut, it was unusual to have any kind of mail at this hour, it was almost 2 in the afternoon on a Sunday, and so this was highly irregular. She looked out of her doorway and down the stairs to see only a single creamy envelope. The star rushed down the stairs, it must be important, to see who it was for. Her eyes and smile lit up as she saw her name accompanied by a little star on the front; this was obviously a special letter so she went through to the kitchen, got some milk and went up to her bedroom to read it.

She placed the glass of milk on her star-shaped coaster on her vanity table and sat down. She smoothed out the envelope on the desk, even though it was in perfect condition, and then flipped it over and eased open the seal. Her head was rushing through thoughts of what could be inside: a letter from a fan? A letter from Shelby? An apology note from Finn, finally? She edged the matching creamy paper out, unfolded it and began to read.

_Dear Rachel,_

I thought it would be best to write this because then my incessant rambling is kept to a bare minimum. I like you, Rachel. I really like you and recently I've started to wonder whether I like you more than I should. There are glimpses that I get when I wonder "Is this how she feels?"

_That's when I started thinking and now I haven't been able to stop._

_I'm not really sure how to handle all of this because it's all very new and confusing for me because although I say I'm not in to labelling etc., I'd always sort of assumed I was completely straight but they do say there's an exception to every rule._

I don't expect you to feel the same way. In fact, I really don't think you feel the same because up until now I've been more than a bitch to you but I think it's because I've always liked you and never really known how to deal with it because everything else told me that I shouldn't have feelings for girls. I know this is sudden but after everything you've helped me through it's finally hit me. I think it was when you found me under the bleachers with the skanks, you were there and I just knew.

_If you've read this and think that it's super weird then please feel free to discard it and forget about it but I do ask that you act like you never got it because I couldn't bear not being your friend. If you've read this and you're curious or you reciprocate then you know where I am._

I'm sorry to put this on you.

Quinn xxx

Rachel's eyes repeatedly canned over the words, she couldn't believe what she was reading, why did Quinn suddenly feel so compelled to do this? Of course, it was only natural that she should feel grateful to Rachel for helping her through a troubled time, in fact one could even say they were now friends of sorts because of it but this all together something far more dramatic.

The diva gently put down the letter and smoothed it out on her vanity table. She stared at it, not knowing what to do; she wasn't ready for anything like this. Of course, being in the spotlight, she was going to get some attention from women but she hadn't expected it from Quinn. She didn't feel like that about Quinn… did she? She mustn't because she's dated Jessie and Finn and she's made out with Noah but that was never serious. She couldn't just suddenly feel this way about a fellow woman.

OoOoOoOoO

Quinn was early for glee club on Monday. She didn't have any lessons with Rachel that day so this was the first opportunity to see how Rachel reacted to the letter. She didn't want to get her hopes to high; Rachel may not have got the letter or she might have put it in the trash just like Quinn asked her too. That would be fine but Q would probably go home and cry; she wasn't good with rejection. She didn't want to lose Rachel as the sort of friend she was.

Rachel entered the choir room and for a moment she looked Quinn straight in the eyes. Quinn's heart rose in uncontained hope but all too soon the moment was gone and Quinn sunk like a soufflé as the diva went and sat next to Tina. It was obvious, Rachel had read the letter and now she was going to avoid Quinn at all costs.

Tuesday only confirmed what Q had hyped herself to believe. She saw Rachel in the corridors and by her locker and on the bleachers and in the choir room but every time they made eye contact Rachel seemed to panic and then if Quinn took even the smallest step forward then Rachel would simply turn and walk quickly in the opposite direction.

This continued for weeks and each time it happened it made Quinn feel like she had dropped a child's birthday cake or someone had kicked a puppy in front of her. It was an overwhelming sadness that eventually started to retreat. It started to hurt a little less each time she saw Rachel walking away. It hurt a little less each time Rachel sat next to Tina in glee. It hurt a little less when Quinn lay in bed and thought about her.

OoOoOoOoO

"Right," said Mr Shue, clapping his hands together and rubbing them in glee, "Some of you are leaving at the end of this year and it struck me how far we've come as a group. I know in the past some of you have had some differences but I know now that you're all pretty friendly with each other now…" Santana raised an eyebrow, which was ignored, "and I think that's great and so what I'm going to do is assign you a partner and you have to sing them a song, in private, about how you feel about them after your time together at glee club." He beamed with enthusiasm for his idea.

There was a little protest in the group about not getting to choose partners but aside from that everyone seemed to go along with the plan.

Quinn stared in to space, not really paying attention but thinking about cooking, she seemed to be doing this more now; in fact she seemed to do it whenever she was in a room with Rachel, it was her coping strategy. Gradually partners were revealed: Kurt was with Puck, Blaine was with Finn, Santana was with Mercedes, Tina was with Artie then Q became aware that her name was called. She snapped out of her world to see who she was paired with.

"You are with Rachel because I know you've had some romantic troubles," Mr Shue didn't know the half of it, thought Quinn to herself in pleasant surprise, "But you seem to have come on in leaps and bounds. Remember the only rule is that you have to have sung it to each other by this time next week."

Quinn stared at Rachel for the rest of the session, trying to gauge her reaction. The singer glanced over her shoulder at the ex-cheerleader in slight alarm when she heard her name but that was it. Quinn knew exactly what she was going to sing to Rachel and where she was going to do it.

OoOoOoOoO

A couple of days later Quinn sat under the bleachers and hoped Rachel had gotten her note. She wasn't late, in fact she would be five minutes early if she came now. In exactly five minutes time Rachel stepped nervously towards Quinn.

"This is an unusual location for a meeting," she said, inspecting the metal before sitting down where Quinn signalled her to sit.

"I know," soothed Quinn, "but I wanted to choose a place of significance for me. Now I'm not very good at talking or writing so this is my song to you, Rachel." Q let out a breath and began.

_Close your eyes and I'll kiss you_

_Tomorrow I'll miss you_

_Remember I'll always be true_

Rachel recognised the song instantly, blushing and looking away as Quinn tried to meet her eye.

_And then while I'm away_

_I'll write home every day_

_And I'll send all my loving to you_

_I'll pretend that I'm kissing_

_The lips I am missing_

_And hope that my dreams will come true_

_And then while I'm away_

_I'll write home every day_

_And I'll send all my loving to you_

_All my loving, I will send to you_

_All my loving, darling I'll be true_

Rachel finally dared to look back at Quinn, who hadn't taken her eyes off the other girl. It was so important for her to get the meaning across.

_Close your eyes and I'll kiss you_

_Tomorrow I'll miss you_

_Remember I'll always be true_

_And then while I'm away_

_I'll write home every day_

_And I'll send all my loving to you_

Q began to move closer, closing the distance between them, wanting so much to reach out and touch a girl who she longed to love with all her sugary sweet passion.

_All my loving, I will send to you_

_All my loving, darling I'll be true_

_All my loving, all my loving_

_Ooh, all my loving, I will send to you_

The girls were now only inches apart, Quinn was crouching down so she could look the diva directly in the eye as she sang her last line. Both their eyes darted trying to see the whole of the face in front of them. Quinn lingered on Rachel's slightly parted lips and knew this may be her only chance.

She leaned forward, raising her hand to Rachel's face and closed the gap between their lips with the most meaningful strawberry kiss she could muster.

OoOoOoOoO

Rachel perched on the edge of her bed then let out what was possibly the world's biggest sigh and fell back so she could lie down and think about what had happened today, for news should always be digested along with big events so you can store them for later acting requirements.

_Rachel squeezed her eyes tight shut and in a split second decided the best course of action was not to enjoy the kiss and to remove Quinn from her person as quickly as possible. Rachel's hands found Quinn's ribcage and pushed as hard as they could._

_Quinn fell back in surprise as Rachel stood up and looked at her in confusion and mild panic._

"_What possessed you to do that?" demanded Rachel._

_Quinn stammered, suddenly embarrassed, looking at the ground, "I just wanted to show you how I really feel about you and after the song it looked like maybe…" The once confident cheerleader went a shade of scarlet_

"_Maybe what?" questioned Berry._

"_Maybe you sort of understood and you could have felt the same…" Quinn mumbled to the ground._

_Rachel wasn't sure to be horrified at being pursued so directly or horrified at herself for hurting Quinn so obviously. Rachel almost went to help her up but she decided against it._

"_I received your letter Quinn and I haven't known how to act around you since. It can't be the same when we both possess the knowledge of your feelings. I like being you're friend Quinn and anyone would be lucky to have you as their spouse but I could never return your feelings."_

_At the word never, Quinn looked up with searing pain in her eyes, as if Rachel had just taken a knife and stabbed her just below her heart. Rachel looked in to them and did the only thing she could do: run with tears stinging her eyes._

Rachel lay there just thinking about that kiss. Was she meant to have enjoyed those passing seconds of Quinn's strawberry lips? Was that allowed? Why had she been so upset that she had to tell Quinn she didn't like her? Rachel sighed again. Why was life so confusing?

OoOoOoOoO

Quinn cried that night like never before. She cried with hurt and anguish. She had had a taste of what it could have been like; it was like every moment she had enjoyed in her mind until Rachel pushed her off and stabbed her. It had been almost there and now it was highly likely that Berry would never talk to her again.

OoOoOoOoO

Quinn was surprised to hear a letter drop on the floor behind her front door 2pm on Sunday. It was a pearly gold, like icing, adorned with her name and a small gold star underneath it. Quinn's heart didn't dare to dream as she flew up the stairs to her room so she could open her letter in private. She sat at her desk and smoothed out the envelope, completely unaware that her process was the exact same as the singer's, then flipped it over and eased out the matching paper.

She couldn't look. Quinn sat, for a few seconds, with her eyes closed before daring to open them and see what biting complaint Rachel had written down for her.

_Dear Quinn,_

_I have had time to reflect on the situation we were in and after a few days of soul searching and discussions with my dads I have come to one logical conclusion. I have never been kissed in such a way as you kissed me on Thursday. I didn't know how to react. It was the best kiss I've ever had._

_I know I probably shouldn't have enjoyed kissing you and then pushed you off but, you see, I'm not so great with words sometimes, and I needed you to know, I thought you were beautiful and I was scared that I thought so. It was wrong of me to run off but I was scared, which doesn't happen very often, and I needed some time to think._

_You may say that you don't want to speak to me again because I treated you horribly but if you're still curious then I am willing to see if we can do something about it._

_Love,_

_Rachel xxx_

This was more than Q could have hoped for. She grabbed her keys and ran to her car to go see the one person she had wanted to for so many months.

OoOoOoOoO

As soon as Rachel heard her daddy answer the door to Quinn Rachel rushed downstairs and dragged Quinn up to her room by the wrist yelling some excuse over her shoulder at the smug looking man. Quinn stumbled in to the middle of the room and Rachel closed the door with her back pressing against it. For a moment they just looked in to each other's eyes in silence, to take it all in.

Rachel was the first to break.

"I was just thinking that when you kissed me, for the brief seconds our lips touched, I felt like I was onstage with Barbra or something and it was amazing and I've never got that with Finn so that night I rang him and told him that we could never really be together. When he asked why I said I was in love with someone else and he was all 'who?' and I wouldn't tell him because I hadn't said it out loud to myself and…"

Rachel looked at Quinn. She was staring at her, one eyebrow cocked in disbelief at how fast a girl could talk and her mouth slightly open in a sort of smile, specifically; she was staring at Rachel's mouth.

"Kiss me" whispered Rachel. Quinn darted forward but stopped just short of touching the other girl; she looked her up and down running her hands in similar motion centimetres away from Rachel's body. Rachel couldn't stand the tension.

"Oh Rach…" murmured Quinn, finally meeting her eye.

"Ah Quinn…" Rachel breathed in the familiar scent and closed her eyes, preparing herself for contact that she hoped would come, "Kiss me."

Then they kissed and it completed them. Each second of contact showed them they had made the right decision.

_Close your eyes and I'll kiss you_

_Tomorrow I'll miss you_

_Remember I'll always be true_


End file.
